Bringing Your Own Weather
Stephen Covey, best known for his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, once said, “Proactive people bring their own weather with them.”
What he meant, at least as I interpret it, is that whatever emotion, state of mind, or expectation you bring with you to a new environment is exactly what you’ll find when you get there—not just because we tend to see what we’re looking for, but also because we change the environmental conditions in the room by what we bring into it like an unexpected tornado on a Spring day.
For leaders, this means that those who project a sense of fear, uncertainty, or discontent will create a culture of fear, uncertainty, and discontent on their teams. Likewise, leaders who embody and display a spirit of optimism, resiliency, and calm during times of crisis will produce the same on their teams.
For one example of how this plays out in the real world, consider the story of two great basketball coaches and two historic games.
Sweat, Gary, Sweat
Image Source: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog /2011/02/heres_gary_williams_sweating.html
Gary Williams is a fantastic former college basketball coach who led three different men’s programs to the NCAA tournament, won the 2002 national championship as coach of the University of Maryland Terrapins team, and was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2014.
The man could flat out coach. But, the man could also sweat . . . a lot, especially when he faced the Duke Blue Devils of Coach Mike Krzyzewski (“Coach K”) and especially in two monumental match-ups in 2001. (He sweat so much, in fact, that Duke’s creative student section later would chant “sweat, Gary, sweat” during key moments of future match-ups played at Duke.)
For those of you not steeped in Duke basketball lore (call me, I’m happy to bring you up to speed), Coach K won his third national championship in 2001 with a team stacked with future NBA players. Maryland had a strong team as well—so strong, in fact, that they won the championship the following year—but they could not seem to get over the hump against their hated rivals, losing three of the four contests that season and blowing double-digit leads in each.
Two of those losses were especially painful and represent two of the greatest comebacks in the history of college basketball. The first game came to be known as the “Miracle Minute,” when Duke was down by 10 points with 55 seconds remaining in regulation in front of a hostile Maryland crowd. Despite the seemingly insurmountable deficit, Coach K assured his skeptical players on the sidelines, “we are GOING to win this game.” Sure enough, star guard Jason Williams, who had been having a terrible game to that point, proved his coach to be prophetic, scoring 8 points by himself in the next 15 seconds, enabling Duke to send the game to overtime where they ultimately prevailed.
Image Source: https://goduke.com/news/2011/2/2/205088638.aspx
The whole time Maryland’s lead melted away, the camera showed Coach Williams pacing the sidelines frantically, gesticulating wildly, and sweating like a sumo wrestler in a sauna with a bad case of meat sweats. His team seemed to pick up on his anxious mood, committing turnovers, missing free throws, and essentially playing exactly the opposite of how they played the first 39 minutes.
Coach K, by contrast, showed the body language of a maestro fully in command of his orchestra, encouraging his team with measured hand gestures conveying he was in control of his emotions and the situation. Both coaches, in other words, created the weather in which each of their teams played the deciding moments of the game.
It only got worse for Maryland when the teams met again in the Final Four. Maryland again jumped out to a commanding lead, going up by 22 points in the first half. Rather than taking tighter control of the reins, Coach K told his players at half-time that they were “forbidden to run plays” and “the best thing for us to do is just to play basketball.” Freed up by his assertive yet calm approach, Duke outscored Maryland by 33 points and won going away in the largest comeback in the history of the men’s Final Four before winning the championship two days later.
Just as in the earlier game, Coach Williams’ body language betrayed him as Duke mounted its comeback, pacing the sidelines with exaggerated hand gestures and a growing sense of exasperation. His players again seemed to pick up on his state of mind, playing tighter and tighter as the game progressed. Once again, the weather created by each coach directly impacted the performance of his team and ultimately the outcome of the game.
Science of Making Weather
Lest you think I’m making too much of two basketball games, behavioral neuroscience has confirmed that the most powerful person in any gathering sets the emotional tone for everyone in the group through mirror neurons, which cause us to mimic the emotions of another person whenever we detect a powerful emotion.
Daniel Goleman, the guru of emotional intelligence, has explained it this way in the leadership context: “Leaders have the power to impact the emotional states of people around them. They can have a positive effect, pulling everyone onto the same upbeat wavelength. Or, they can create dissonance, where their negativity bumps up against the emotions of others.” According to Goleman, “resonant leaders” are those who are able to recognize and manage their emotions to direct the feelings to help a group meet its goals. (4) Master the Four Styles of Resonant Leadership | LinkedIn).
The practical effect of leaders’ ability to impact the mood and performance of their teams is real. In a study of 740 leaders conducted in 2015, 94% reported that when they showed up with calm, happy, and energized states of mind, their teams had the greatest levels of effectiveness and performance. Conversely, teams had the least positive results when their leaders appeared to be frustrated, anxious, tired, or stressed. How Your State of Mind Affects Your Performance (hbr.org).
Not only that, but research shows that the state of mind reproduced by a leader is not confined to the workplace, but instead has a ripple effect on the well-being of their employees’ family members. (https://hbr.org/2013/05/the-ripple-effects-you-create).
Bringing Better Weather
If the emotional weather you bring as a leader spreads sunshine or thunderstorms to your team and beyond, how can you bring better weather? Here are some thoughts:
Get a Weathervane: We all have emotional triggers and certain tendencies under stress that will impact the weather we bring with us. Learn what your triggers are through taking emotional intelligence assessments and well-designed 360 evaluations. Also, find someone on your team you trust to tell you when your emotional winds are beginning to pick up in unproductive ways.
Self-Care Precedes Team Care: Similar to what we’re told in pre-flight instructions, leaders have to make sure they are breathing properly before they apply the oxygen mask to others. This means making self-care a priority, including regular exercise, healthy diet, sufficient sleep, and time to read and think. By doing so, you will put yourself in a healthier state of mind to lead your team. Just as vital, you will set an example for them of how they should care for themselves.
Get Centered: Even if we know our triggers and have engaged in appropriate self-care, the unexpected crisis is bound to occur that will start our emotional storm clouds brewing. To keep these clouds from becoming a hailstorm, consider reflective practices such as yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, or prayer that will enable you to gain perspective and a sense of calm in the moments before meeting with your team.
Talk Positively to Yourself: In his fantastic book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, psychologist Ethan Kross explains how our interior dialogue frames the way we see and show up in the world in powerful ways. Re-examine the way you’re talking to yourself under stress and consider replacing negative self-talk (“why do I always screw up?”) with a more positive, pro-active message ("I’ve handled this before, I can do it again.”) You can bet whatever message you’re telling yourself will be heard loud and clear by your team.
Work with a Coach: The most effective leaders I have known will tell you that trained coaches are invaluable in helping them create better weather, resulting in more positive relationships and greatly improved performance on their teams. Many coaches will provide a free introductory session. Try one and see if the skies begin to brighten a bit by the end.
With apologies to Bob Dylan, the reason “you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” is because you’re the one bringing the weather with you. What steps will you take to bring better weather to your team?
Mike Tooley is a Co-Founder with Upstream Principles LLC, a coaching and consulting firm dedicated to helping individuals, leaders, and teams go upstream to discover solutions for their leadership and employee development challenges. As a certified Leadership and Strengths Coach, Mike is committed to serve as a guide to help others discover, and live out, who they are designed to be.